Saturday, January 8, 2011 1/08/2011 11:47:00 PM

Why?

♥i left my blog for so long ady....
every since came back from France...
i had already fight to get a position in the competition...
and i got it....

now... after 1 month of practicing...
i still haven't perfected it...
it's so stress....
and competition is juz around the corner...
da brioche i made...
never been perfected...
and i am left with 1 more practice only...

if i dont win...
wadever that i fight for is juz wasted...
and if i dont win...
my chef will lose his pride...
and if i dont win...
taylors will hate me...
and if i dont win...
i've lost my dignity too.....

competition is all about proving urself...
that's wad my chef told me...
and it's about proving myself...
i dont wanna lose 2 ppl too...
coz if i do...
i have no place 2 put my face ady...
i have to do it...
really have 2 do it...

there's not 1st place or 2nd place or 3rd place...
it's either u win... or u lose...
every1 is hoping me to win...
every1...
and if i dont...
it sucks...

then...
issues by issues juz keep on appear...
a fren suddenly wouldn't wanna talk 2 me...
reason till now...
remained unknown...
ask his fren...
his fren don't know bout it...
maybe i should 4get it then...
it's been bothering me alot...
he's been talking 2 ppl...
but not me...
i really......
speechless la.....
haihz...
can't get over it until i really get 2 know da reason behind it...
it's torturing...

now...
i rather make myself so bz to forget most of the things...
i rather over stressing myself so that i could be so tired until i couldn't think..
i rather starve myself so that i have something to think about when i'm at home...
i'm bak to self torturing...
it makes me feel better sometimes...

i know it's silly of me...
coz it's only 1 fren...
but it ever happened laz time...
and i felt so sad coz i've already put some trust into tat person...
and i told myself tat i wouldn't do that again...
but end up couldn't help it...
coz i've trusted some1 again...
and now....
every since that msg...
suddenly i felt a piece of glass being shattered on the floor...
till now that glass hasn't been mend yet...
it even cut me when i try 2 mend it...

time will tell.....
Time will really tell someday of wad is happening......

*sign off*