Sunday, June 28, 2009 6/28/2009 08:34:00 PM

my life is full of sacrifice...

♥so... these few days there's alot happening with me n my family... let me tell some of my stories where i could remember...

i was a daughter where my father always play with me... we used 2 talk n play around 2gether... until 1 day during my pmr... pmr to me tat time was a major exam... i am always asked 2 study, study, n study... da problem with my family is tat they dunno i have been studying till late at nite... so i juz sleep late... n wake up later... but 1 day... my mum waked me up... i have tis behaviour tat if u wan me 2 do something i dun usually do... u have 2 let me know earlier... so as 2 prepare myself... n tat time... they did not... she juz wake me up n i dun have enuf sleep... early in d morning, after waking up... sure mood not gud la... so we went 2 mamak stall... i dun feel like drinking anything... i usually dun order drink oso... tat time i dun talk... coz morning i dun tok 1... so i juz shake head... a few time my dad ask me... i said i dun wan... he then scolded me... in d shop... infront of ppl... n made me cry... while eating... now... wad a dad he is??? u all no need undergo stress of exams... i still need... u all juz dun understand me la.... after eating finish... my mum can still say she had da worse breakfast ever.... then i ask u... i've been scolded coz of not ordering 1 drink... n u blame me on doing tat??? it's juz wad a joke...

ever since... i never talk 2 my dad... not like always... then at da same time... my mum was found having STD... u all wanna know wad's tat... juz google it la... my mum come n find me n tok bout it... i was like 15... u think i know wad 2 do ah??? omg.... i have 2 deal with family 2gether with my exams.... wad a life... oh ya... i 4got... in my UPSR... my mum was found having rectum cancer... again during major exams...

then come 2 my form4... i was 2 make a decision 2 leave my hometown... although i still have 1 more year 2 finish up my spm... y lei? coz my mum caught my dad cheating on her... my mum still say can stay 2gether... but she will happy meh? everyday juz have 2 look at his disgusting face n behaviour... i oso wont feel happy... come kl lo.... so in d end... make another big step... which is leaving my irresponsible dad n my beloved frens....

form5... step into new environment... but i managed it well... all study myself as tuition r so expensive...but still... dun get str8 As la.... only get 5... which is gud enuf... then come 2 culinary arts course... in between got lots of college life sacrifice la... which is never being known.... i dun even remember some.....

n now come 2 my chances.... my mum got cancer again... at her pelvic there.... n at da same time... i was having my final term exam... wad a nice timing... n bcoz of tat... i lost the apportunity 2 work with my chefs for the open day for college.... lost it... totally lost it.... i got so frust tat time... but wad 2 do.... my life is such tat... in order 2 get something... i juz need 2 sacrifice something instead... nothing comes in such a nice coincidence... n most of it... i juz have 2 deal it mentally within myself....

haihz... life is short.... i have 2 enjoy it.....

Wednesday, June 17, 2009 6/17/2009 10:02:00 AM

thoughts...

♥ytd.... yea... i received a news... then i decided that i wanna go home la... if not i'll b thinking bout it n wont b doing my job in college well... so y not juz go home.... laz nite i tot tat i was actually scared for my mum.... mayb not... it's mayb coz i've lost another opportunity 2 work myself up.... ppl r going 2 competition.... ppl opened their own restaurants n so on.... wad do i get 2 do?? juz another burden for my family.... n bcoz of tat... i lost so much of opportunities....

haihz.... my life is still full of unfairness.....

Tuesday, June 16, 2009 6/16/2009 06:06:00 PM

tragic...

♥i was actually excited tat 2mr is my laz paper.... n actually excited tat i'm bak mapling... n even tot of earning meso 2nite in old town.... but then.... i got a fon call by my mum.... she say tat her scan found out tat she has a malignant tumour at her pelvic there.... so..... made me no mood 2 maple n oso study ady.... when she tell me i still kinda calm... but now... hiahz.... shedding tears...

luckily tat my training is near my house... at least can still take care of her.... but still.. she might need 2 trust me on my driving skill 2 let me drive 2 work ady... haihz.....

no mood no mood....

Monday, June 15, 2009 6/15/2009 08:31:00 AM

OMG!!!!

♥wad happened 2 me man... i almost miss my econs test weh~!!! my alarm rang at 4am... but then it stopped.... i continue sleeping.... until chun chun 8am.... thank god man....... if not i'm gonna b dead meat!!! but still.... can't study.... now only get 2 look tru everything... hiahz......

Sunday, June 14, 2009 6/14/2009 10:06:00 PM

a sudden worry.....

♥omg.... i actually post it.... then now i have 2 re-type it due 2 error... OMG!!!

so i was saying... i was suddenly worried.... coz 2mr is econs n malaysian studies exams.... haihs..... i was like trying 2 cramp everything in 1 n half days.... n most of da time.... i was like slacking.... reading novels la.... watch movie la.... on9 la.... maple la..... haihz..... regret it... until my schedule 2 study was delayed A DAY!!!!!

i bet 2nite can't sleep well.... if so... then i shall wake up..... boost myself with a double dose of nescafe..... then study..... continue 2 cramp as much as i can...!!!

i so i was saying... 2day spend almost a whole day outside my room.... morning got dressed n walked 2 pyramid with lappy..... went 2 starbucks... had breakfast with latte there.... LARGE LATTE~~~ it was nice.... then continued with a mango passion fruit juice... i liked tat... tastes nice.... i tried raspberry currant in pavillion... it wasn't nice... dunno y..... din try it in pyramid yet... mayb it'll taste better... next time la.......

n now... i'm in old town white coffee.... doing wad?? had dinner.... n STUDY again~!!!!!!! need 2 cramp a lot of stuffs man.... how i wish i have a internal hardisk in my brain now.... can store like so many information without forgetting wad was it............... haihz.....

AZA AZA FIGHTING!!!!! EVERY1 WISH ME GUD LUCK YO~!!!

Thursday, June 11, 2009 6/11/2009 07:02:00 PM

as usual...

♥actually there were so many things that happen these few days... juz tat i din blog it out only.. =(

here's some random stories tat i remember la.... so i still keep to my goal that i dun wan eat dinner so often... 1 reason is to so-called diet... another is dun wan go out with some1 so often la... but tis week is a total disaster... not really disaster la... but i only bought ingredients for 1 type of soup only... too bad.... but due to my constant use of library computer... n da hours that i stayed in library... let me survive in going out for dinner... which is also a gud excuse... cuz i've been staring infront of da pc for more than like 4 hours non-stop searching for informations... making me had a bad headache... invluding now... lol....

however... my assignments are all done... left printing which will be done later when i log off this comp.... when assignments done means exams are coming.... argh~!!!! laz time exam is like 1 day 1 subject... now is like 1 day 2 subjects... for 4 consecutive days........ haihz... need 2 burn midnight oil ady lo..... but i'm not scared of exams... da only subject i might b afraid of is econs n marketing only... da rest..... i shud b fine.....

another random stories... most of da ppl know that my mood is very very n i say again very unstable in d morning... n i dunno y these few days i've been particular hating 1 guy in my class.... haihz.. i wish i wont do so... but wad he's always acting makes me pissed of sometimes..... i understand his relationship with his "godfather"... oso no need boast it kua.... n i think it's a lil' bit too much... then i do understand that he had a opportunity 2 go for a competition next year... n i do envy u... at da same time jealous bout it.... n plz juz keep it 2 urself la... no need keep reminding us kua... anyway... 1 thing tat he made me pissed of yesterday morning was............................ he called me "pussy" for like 3 times in a row~!!! argh!! da 1st time u said it... i say dun call me that.. coz it's rude... then u answer me with another "pussy" reply... i stare at u showing that i mean it... u said it again when i din even speak anything out.... get 2 think bout it... it's juz so rude.... i dun mind even ignore u da whole day coz in d end u dun even get da point of it.... saying sorry after doing something is not really a gud response to it...

haihz... there's always gud n bad when being in group1 or group2.... sometimes i juz really wish that we dun need 2 sacrifice so many things in getting something right... tis world is really so unfair....

i guess it's long enuf... dun wanna say anymore... might blog again 2mr in starbucks bah....