♥ Broken like shattered glass,
Friday, July 22, 2011 7/22/2011 07:59:00 PM
ppl never just understand my situation!!


finally the time for me 2 write a blog has come.....
n everytime is such situation....
where never some1 hu can understand my situation.....
this situation last time ever happen....
i had 2 sacrifice wad i like to do...
n cried the whole night feeling sad for not doing it...

n now relatives keep bugging me n not knowing my situation....
there's so many things i have 2 do...
run here run there...
i have a college 2 satisfy...
i have a reputation to maintain....
then i have a mother hu i have 2 take care....
but y is it solely me hu's doing all these work?
u relatives can say all these things coz u never get all these situation b4...
n all putting everything on me....
nag nag nag....
say say say....
call me do this call me do that....
ever think that i have my limits oso???
u really pissed me off today....
n tried showing u that i'm pissed oso.....
i dun wanna say i have competition coz sure u'll say mother more important....
then another 1 can ask me stop studying so that i can take care of mum...
then u wanna make my life half hanging???
is that wad u want????
if u force me 2 make such decision....
i will hate u for life!!!!

WHATEVER!!!
no one even notice that my life is filled with suckiness...
my positive actions n speech makes ppl think that i'm strong....
c'mon! think! a strong wall 1 day will still break down!!!


Saturday, May 21, 2011 5/21/2011 02:12:00 PM
wah so long!!!


whao!!! it's been SO SO SO FREAKIN' LONG i din update anything!
the last time i update was bout how mad i was...
then in between that and now...
i think kinda alot happened...
and lots of things kinda went well coz i think i managed to overcome it...

well... as u guys hu reads my blog...
will know that i WAS in pursuit to London for WorldSkills Competition...
n now... i'm a free gal!
i lost to him... (well can say i did it on purpose)
the environment was juz not for me...
i dun feel belonged...
i dun feel guided...
i feel like i'm working instead...
it's so tight up!

so now i'm back to hu i was...
back to college to join Penang's Battle of the Chefs competition...
i was left with 2 weeks to practice...
and 1 week juz gone...
not much time left...
and i was being expected 2 bring gold back...
2 blardy golds!
ARGH!!! that kinda sucks!!!!
coz i wouldn't wanna disappoint any1...
i may be the person who "win win, lose lose lahh" ...
but sometimes it's bout doing what i'm best at...
and getting acknowledge it...
and get proved by...
if i did all those and i still lose....
maybe i'm not good...
or maybe i'm not accepted to the public yet...
that's all...

and i'm not that great either...
i'm juz surrounded with people hu helped me alot...
and i thank them heartfully!!

that's all... juz thought of dropping by.... =D


Thursday, March 10, 2011 3/10/2011 09:05:00 PM
i hate u...


i receive a msg during lunch time...
and that msg made me a criminal again...
laz time i bcame a criminal coz i love to go college so much...
where i can spend at least 12hours in college...
and it bcame a crime...
then i love to have dinner with frens and chat...
it became a crime...
then i love culinary...
it also bcame a crime coz i hardly go bak home early....

now... 1 week 7 days...
5 days i go back home after work immediately...
1 day i go find my frens n end up reaching home late...
1 day i go for college for class and also end up reaching home...
5 out of 7 days i was trying my best to be as good as i can...
and u only remember the 2 days that i went back home late...
which made me a criminal for being out with my frens...

i go college early in d morning coz i need to avoid jam....
how would u know as u dun travel with me everyday???
i had to go college early coz there's no parking and i have 2 preserve the car as good as i can....
but how would u know the parking system in taylors is juz that sucky???
i had 2 go out for work early just to avoid jam and get myself a parking...
eventhough my work start at 10...
how would u know that i could get stuck in a jam??
or i have 2 risk the car and my worries whole day if i park at road side???
how would u know???
and how would u know that eventhough i said i work 10 to 6...
and do u think that i juz need to go out at 10 and reach back home at 6?
and how would i know whether i can finish work at 6 sharp??
i work shift... i dun work office admin...
please understand my work situation...
but unfortunately YOU ALL DON'T!!!

SO STOP ASSUMING SO MANY THINGS!!
there's only 24hours a day...
i spent 8 hours of work AT LEAST...
1 and half hour on the road AT LEAST...
and 2hours of waiting for shift to start...
da rest of the time is suppose to be my sleeping time...
and i have to study! do assignments! gosok kasut at work!
n now u're putting me another more commitment...
I HAVE MORE THINGS TO HANDLE THAN U!
Y NOT U DO IT???
dun assume so many things where u dun even know the real story!

I AM SO TOTALLY PISSED OF U!!!


Sunday, February 20, 2011 2/20/2011 07:58:00 PM
1st post after 1 and half month of slackness...


so i was SO BUSY with my life back then...
went for Nestle Professional Culinary Arts Awards 2011...
and took back a title...
was greatful...
i was very eager to win...
coz i hate losing....
i don't wanna lose to anyone that time...
so i pressured up myself alot...
till i even fall sick n lost my voice....
then when they day of competition...
i just had this feeling that i don't care anymore...
and just do my best....
there was some mistakes and hard times...
but pulled it through thank to my friends and lecturers...
with all the support i received....
i made everyone proud...

then after the competition was done...
that was the greatest moments in my life by far....
it felt a release....
winning or losing did not matter anymore....
i was proud of myself and my team...
i still remember that moment....
i was so joyfull...
until the night of the result ceremony....
then my battle was back on standby mode...

so i won and get a chance to get trained in Le Meridien Hotel...
together with Aiman who was the 1st runner-up....
who was being expected to have even more experience than me...
coz he did went through ALOT of competition...
and i only did once...
bravo to you too...
but good luck to both of us....
i really do wish u will get to get World Skills Competition though...
coz ur commitment in competition is so much more greater than me...
but we will still fight the battle together aye??

so now i'm in Le Meridien...
training as apprentice and also studying for my Advance Diploma....
i guess i was very attached to college....
i spent most of my time in college for the past few months...
and now suddenly i had to miss classes and only go back once a week...
it makes me "college sick" u know....
the attachment is juz too strong...
how i wish i lost and i can carry on with my life....
but still i hate to lose....
such a dillemma.....

anyway!
new year passed....
and i bought myself a new iPod Touch 4G....
AND my SE Satio!!!
now i feel like i'm a gadget gal....
with so many things in my pocket...
my prize money oso dried up....
angpao money only left some...
shall keep more more money....
and get myself another 1Terra External Hardisk!!
hahahahahaha!

oh well my life's been a mess lately....
slowly adjusting....
wish myself all the best...
and also ADC team.... =D


Saturday, January 8, 2011 1/08/2011 11:47:00 PM
Why?


i left my blog for so long ady....
every since came back from France...
i had already fight to get a position in the competition...
and i got it....

now... after 1 month of practicing...
i still haven't perfected it...
it's so stress....
and competition is juz around the corner...
da brioche i made...
never been perfected...
and i am left with 1 more practice only...

if i dont win...
wadever that i fight for is juz wasted...
and if i dont win...
my chef will lose his pride...
and if i dont win...
taylors will hate me...
and if i dont win...
i've lost my dignity too.....

competition is all about proving urself...
that's wad my chef told me...
and it's about proving myself...
i dont wanna lose 2 ppl too...
coz if i do...
i have no place 2 put my face ady...
i have to do it...
really have 2 do it...

there's not 1st place or 2nd place or 3rd place...
it's either u win... or u lose...
every1 is hoping me to win...
every1...
and if i dont...
it sucks...

then...
issues by issues juz keep on appear...
a fren suddenly wouldn't wanna talk 2 me...
reason till now...
remained unknown...
ask his fren...
his fren don't know bout it...
maybe i should 4get it then...
it's been bothering me alot...
he's been talking 2 ppl...
but not me...
i really......
speechless la.....
haihz...
can't get over it until i really get 2 know da reason behind it...
it's torturing...

now...
i rather make myself so bz to forget most of the things...
i rather over stressing myself so that i could be so tired until i couldn't think..
i rather starve myself so that i have something to think about when i'm at home...
i'm bak to self torturing...
it makes me feel better sometimes...

i know it's silly of me...
coz it's only 1 fren...
but it ever happened laz time...
and i felt so sad coz i've already put some trust into tat person...
and i told myself tat i wouldn't do that again...
but end up couldn't help it...
coz i've trusted some1 again...
and now....
every since that msg...
suddenly i felt a piece of glass being shattered on the floor...
till now that glass hasn't been mend yet...
it even cut me when i try 2 mend it...

time will tell.....
Time will really tell someday of wad is happening......

*sign off*



Yours truly,

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Just an ordinary gurl looking for an ordinary life.


With Loves,

Nobody can go back...
And start a new beginning...

But anyone can start today...
And make a new ending...


Rhythm of Life,


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Materialistic,

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  • Money
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  • DSLR Camera
  • Camera phone
  • Walkman phone
  • iPod Touch
  • Earphone


  • Scream Love,

    I'm broken.